My Rumi-Inspired Road Trip, by Annie Wood

My Rumi-Inspired Road Trip

anniewood.substack.com/p/my-rumi-inspired-road-trip

how to love the world


A version of this piece first appeared in The Huffington Post.
The 13th-century poet and theologian, Rumi, is throwing a party in his guest house, and I’m invited!
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival. A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor. Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight. The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in. Be grateful for
whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.   -Rumi
Okay, Rumi didn’t technically invite me to his party since it seems to be taking place in his own guest home, for himself, but he seems like such a friendly host that I’ve decided to surprise him.
In a moment of bravery, I also invited a few of my own feelings to accompany me.
I’m in my Jeep with Worry riding shotgun.
Worry keeps slamming her foot on the invisible break in front of her.
She thinks I drive too fast.
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Impatience is sitting on Worry’s lap and keeps telling me I’m not driving fast enough.

Joy is riding on the roof. She loves to feel the wind in her hair. She suddenly, giddily screams, ROAD TRIP! Her face is flush with wonder as she stuffs it with popcorn.
Where did she get the popcorn?
That’s the thing about Joy: She always manages to find the things that she most enjoys and fully immerses herself in them, completely and unabashedly.
She’s my favorite.
But Rumi suggests I let them all in, even the bothersome ones like Anger, Sadness and Doubt.
I choose to suck it up, and I open the door for the whole gang.
I sit them together in the backseat, tell them to buckle up, and off we go to Rumi’s place!
Within moments, Sadness begins to cry because Anger sucker-punched her in the face.
I want to throw them both out. Anger is pissing me off, and Sadness is a total buzzkill. But instead, I take a deep breath and calmly ask them if they want to talk about it. For a moment, they are taken aback by my sudden interest in them.
The silence didn’t last long.
You always ignore me! Anger yells over the wailing cries of Sadness. Sadness adds, You ignore me too. You pretend like I don’t even exist.
I remember something I read in my Buddhist studies. Stories about Mara, the God of death and sin.
Mara personifies unwholesome impulses, unskillfulness, the “death” of the spiritual life. He is a tempter, distracting humans from practicing the spiritual life by making mundane things alluring, or the negative seem positive. -Wikipedia
Mara wants to stop Buddha from achieving enlightenment and teaching it to others. Once, when Mara arrived at Buddha’s door, Buddha invited him in for tea. (Rumi and Buddha really enjoy entertaining.)

With all the bickering in the backseat, I figure a new action plan is called for for my own well-being, so I … engage.
Even with the unpleasant ones. Besides, when I don’t keep an eye on one of them, they tend to run amok. Anger and Sadness especially caused me some trouble in the past. (They’re probably in cahoots with one another.)
Sadness ran away from home once, and I thought I was better off without her, so I changed the locks on the door to make sure she stayed out. Soon enough, she came knocking at the door all teary-eyed, begging to be let back in.
I ignored her, though, because I was busy doing shots with Avoidness.
At one point I noticed that Anger, (who had moved into Sad’s room as soon as she split,) was now growing taller and wider.
Anger was turning into a giant, her head exploding through the roof!

I sent Anger to her room and bolted the door shut.
Worry, sensing the imbalance in our home, freaked out and started working overtime by checking and rechecking to see if the stove was left on, if the locks were securely locked and if my heart was still beating.
I couldn’t seem to get rid of Worry who was now bunking with Doubt.
All of this was happening while Joy enjoyed a glass of Pinot Grigio in the Jacuzzi, watching Seinfeld reruns on her phone.
I know, it’s a lot.
It wasn’t until I read Rumi’s poem that I finally understood that I was making everything worse by banishing some emotions, and at the same time, allowing other’s total freedom.
That’s when I decided to bring all of them on this trip.

As we drove my mind told stories, like minds like to do, regrets about the past and concerns for the future. The stars of these stories were with me in the car now.
Only this time, instead of rejecting them, I began to observe them.
Like I was watching a movie.
I found it liberating to watch and simply be with my emotions without getting caught up in their drama and without kicking them out of a moving vehicle.
This non-attachment has allowed me to have Sadness without being Sadness. I feel Angry without living in Anger and I can experience Joy without getting lost in her to such a point that I lose my way home.
I can live my present-moment reality with them all without grasping at extremes.
We all totally bonded on this road trip.
I wept with Sadness on the hood of the Jeep, cradled Worry in my arms, and kissed Anger’s crinkled brow.
I don’t want to beat them up or abandon them anymore. I want to get to know them better so we can all reach an understanding.
The understanding that they are with me, but they are not me.
The understanding that they need to be heard but not followed.

The understanding that, when any of them show up at my door, I can handle them and their shenanigans.
Which is good news since we are all on this wild ride together, so we may as well play nicely.
So, yeah… go ahead and get to know your crew.
But don’t forget to buckle up, buttercup.