If it's not one thing, it's your mother...
"I basically started performing for my mother, going, 'Love me!' What drives you to perform is the need for that primal connection. When I was little, my mother was funny with me, and I started to be charming and funny for her, and I learned that by being entertaining, you make a connection with another person." - Robin Williams "(Ann) Woodworth, Stephen Colbert’s acting professor ... remembers him as a 'constant clown' who had trouble accessing 'some of the emotions that were necessary to tap into the more tragic plays and characters.' Then, she says, she was having lunch with Colbert one day at Norris. 'I don’t know how it came out,' Woodworth recalls, 'but he said, "Well, it might have something to do with the fact that my father and two brothers were killed in a plane crash when I was 10, and I was left home with a grieving mother. And my main mission became to make her laugh." 'I can remember exactly where I was sitting in the lunch room when he said that because I thought I was going to fall over. It made all kinds of sense to me why it was difficult for him to get to the grief of Hamlet. And then it also made sense to me why his sense of comedy and his ability to entertain people and make people laugh was so strong, because he had been practicing it for 10 years.'" - Northwestern Magazine "When I was 8, my mother had a heart attack. Her doctor accompanied her home, and while she rested, he pulled me aside. "Don't argue with your mother," he said. "It might kill her." I didn't know what to make of that, except that I could kill my mother if I got angry with her. "And another thing," he said, "try to make her laugh." Though I'd never before tried to make anyone laugh, I began to sing her silly songs and perform Danny Kaye imitations. That was my first taste of performing. Then one Saturday night, when I was 11 years old, I went to see my older sister Corinne give a dramatic recital. I walked into the Wisconsin College of Music, where 200 people were jammed into the auditorium, jabbering loudly. As the lights dimmed, they began to whisper. Then...darkness. A spotlight hit the center of the stage, and there was Corinne in a lavender gown. As she gave a memorized reading of Guy de Maupassant's The Necklace, all eyes were on her. For the entirety of the recitation, you could hear a pin drop, and when she finished, everyone applauded. At that moment I thought that standing onstage must be as close to actually being God as you could get. When the recital was over, I asked Corinne's acting teacher if I could study with him. We began to work together, and I fell in love with performing. Since then, I've been in more than 30 movies. Every once in a while, when I was in front of the camera, I'd think back to the moment I saw my sister up there onstage, everyone around her rapt. She possessed some magic that I wanted, the ability to make everyone shut up and watch." - Gene Wilder Robin Williams
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“There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. And If you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is, nor how valuable it is, nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep open and aware directly to the urges that motivate YOU. Keep the channel open… No artist is pleased… There is no satisfaction whatever at anytime There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes ‘us’ MORE alive than the others.” - Martha Graham to Agnes DeMille
as quoted in “Dance to the Piper and Promenade Home” (1982) by Agnes de Mille Hello, peoples of the Internet(s)!
I've been thinking a lot about honesty this week. And how we hide from ourselves, and how we hide from our authenticity, our authentic selves. We wear masks all the time. In fact, I'm an actor. One could argue that I chose a profession where I strive to hide behind other selves ALL THE TIME. But what I do is make-believe. It's storytelling. It's sacred and sometimes even healing, in its best form. In its lesser form, it is hopefully, at the least, entertaining and an escape. But what about the ways that you and I hide from ourselves? The ways that we dodge our truths. And all the things that really might be going on inside of us, underneath our armor. If the actor's job is to be comfortable being uncomfortable... if the actor's job is to expose themselves... if the actor's job is to hold the mirror up to nature... Then the next question for me is this: how do we, as human beings -- as non-actors -- strive for the same discomfort and exposure and reflection in our own lives? Can you imagine what we might discover in that brave exploration? “Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love.” - Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet “I’s been livin’ a long time in yesterday, Sandy chile, an’ I knows there ain’t no room in de world fo’ nothin’ mo’n love. I know, chile! Ever’thing there is but lovin’ leaves a rust on yo’ soul. An’ to love sho ‘nough, you got to have a spot in yo’ heart fo’ ever’body – great an’ small, white an’ black, an’ them what’s good an’ them what’s evil – ‘cause love ain’t got no crowded-out places where de good ones stay an’ de bad ones can’t come in. When it gets that way, then it ain’t love.” - Langston Hughes
"What is urgent is seldom important, and what is important is seldom urgent." - Dwight Eisenhower “Poor planning on your part does not necessitate an emergency on mine.” - Bob Carter So here's the thing... we're still in the midst of a global pandemic, but I'm continuing to learn during this strange time. I've been teaching classes online since we went into quarantine in March of 2020, and I found some amazing surprise takeaways from my students. I share them with you here, and I hope you're as inspired as I have been:
* I was struck with the intimacy of this format. This strange hybrid of film & theater, because it’s in close-up, we have to be even more intimate with each other. * We’re becoming better listeners, because the audio is more reliable than the video, with lag & latency issues. So while being deprived of some senses, others are being heightened. * Awareness of the need to sometimes slow down and make space for the character, honoring their time and not our adrenaline rush of pacing. Don’t speed. Slow down. Honor my interpretive choices rather than have one foot out the door of the audition. * Things can land profoundly, you can listen better, and there’s a safety to the risks that we have to take when we’re taking them from our homes. * I thought acting online was always going to suck, but I’ve learned that we can turn it into a revelation. And a revolution. * We turned lemons into limoncello. This is even better than lemonade. * We are resilient. And our storytelling can still be sacred. * My fears about the failures of online performances were, on a weekly basis, disproven. * The importance of finding a place to play. * Feeling more ready to plunge back into the artistic world. * It is possible, both online and in self-tapes, to use our creativity and our imaginations to create whole worlds. * In addition to learning about the importance of taking risks and connecting and raising the stakes, I’ve also felt a freedom and an empowerment that is based in my control of my own creativity. Not to mention hope and inspiration in these hard times. Taking the sacred breath. Making time and space for myself. And the reminder that there is always a way to connect, even in isolation. * I now know that it is in fact possible to make something good online, something that not only is entertaining but also feels good as an actor. I’m no longer as anxious about being remote, I’m feeling much more confident. |